why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
