After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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