So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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