There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
