Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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