yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize