ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
