WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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