Duck Duck Cougar?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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