i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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