I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
