he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
