I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
