New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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