so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
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while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
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Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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