just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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