I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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