All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
love makes seman taste better
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
be right there i have to get my cape
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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