Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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