are you still at the devil's house?
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
