It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
