He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Holy shit dude........stairs
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
