Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
