I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
