do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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