he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
