im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Randomize
