what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
