so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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