so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
