he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
