It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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