i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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