People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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