I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
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