when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
