wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
