If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
