I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
