Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Randomize
