Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
