he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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