I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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