I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just invented taco cereal.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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