I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
