Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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