what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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