I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
My vagina just recognized that song.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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