If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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