Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
