forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
