note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize