Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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