You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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