Fine. I'll sleep in my office
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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