She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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