dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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