We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
