I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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