This is not my ceiling
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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