Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
