She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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