First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
