I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
