Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
