I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
