Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
