Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
