I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf