Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?